Tough Love!
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
INSPIRATION FOR TODAY:
"The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children."
~ Clarence Darrow
TOUGH LOVE!
Of course we all love our children, but who doesn't chuckle when he reads this quote? Perhaps we have all secretly begrudged the behavior of our kids, whether they're five years old, fifteen years old, or even fifty! We try so hard to teach them the lessons our parents tried so hard to teach us, and then we're actually surprised when they toss out all our advice and decide to make their own mistakes (just like we did?).
Sometimes our love for our children drives us to blindly support or overprotect them. And sometimes we are driven to give them so much that we have little (time, money, energy) left for ourselves. Al Bernstein said, "If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance." That is, sometimes the best answer for your child (and yourself) is "No."
They may not like this answer, and it may be even more difficult for you than for them. How can any loving and reasonable parent refuse their son's or daughter's request for help, be it monetary or otherwise? Because sometimes the hardest lessons cannot be learned from sage advice or throwing money at a problem.
As a parent, it may be one of the most difficult questions we'll ever have to answer. Where do we draw the line for satisfying their needs while putting ours aside? Of course, that answer will vary from parent to parent, child to child, situation to situation. I'm not trying to put on Dr. Dobson's hat, but at some time in our lives, many of us may reach that point where it's time for our children to take responsibility for their actions and grow into strong and independent adults. Just like us, right?